Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Time for some funnyness!

Well, again, it's been awhile, but was at a friend's house the other day and he had a short list of some pretty good groaners (what I call short, usually 2-liners, that are usually puns :D ), so I thought I'd share :D

1. Did you hear about the two cannonballs who got married and had a bb?
2. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartenders says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, 'It's Not Unusual'."
9. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you." says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
10. An invisible man marries and invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. (Or another version I hear recently which I think is a little funnier: If Carmen SanDiego and Where's Waldo ever got married, there kids would be practically invisible.)
11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
12. I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, but I couldn't find any.
13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank. Proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
17. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and withs his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Yes, they're good, they're bad, but hey :D have a good one y'all.

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